Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Hakuna Matata

It doesn't matter, its in the past.

The past is a fickle lover. It should sit on the shelf, gleaming from the occasional shine made by the memories it holds, but not disturbed. The past is one of those elusive gems where times look better than they were simply because they represent a time when we were younger, more energetic, and more care free. When revisiting the past we forget about transformations, we forgive transgressions, we relive the 25 second blurb of thought that visits us for only a moment until it is dwarfed by the here and now.

Sometimes, I miss the past. I miss the friends I had, the people I met, those who touched my life. However, the saying "You cant go home again" never rang quite so true as it has today. Not in the sense of a physical home but of that person who I felt at most home with- in my past.
You cant go home again, and I have realised, that I don't really want to.

Now that I have taken Pandora's box o'memory off the shelf and shaken it all around, making a mess of my emotions and caused a leaden pain in my chest. I will force the lid closed and put it up higher this time. Where I cant reach it. Not to be tempted by its shiny exterior again.
Goodbye my friend.

Monday, July 13, 2009


A wise teacher got me hooked on writing journals when I was in the 8th grade. She said that we should keep a record ofour lives so that when we were older we could look back with fond memories.
A wiser teacher would have said to write in them daily- and then burn them.


So i am working on this project that I have been playing around with for a long time. I have a stack of old journals that Ive been soritng through looking for peices of information that I may have forgotten. It is weird how a stack of the past can give you so much insight on your present.
More to come.

Friday, July 10, 2009

For John.

Life is just one big bumpy waiting in line so long that you forget you are already on it kind of ride.

Last night I spent the better part of my evening chatting with my dear friend, John. He and I met in college and were crazy friends from day one. I cant think of many people that I enjoy their company quite as much as I enjoy his. Of course, as is the standard when talking to friends from the old days, we started trotting down memory lane. It's funny to me how I can remember more things that I did when I was hanging out with that man than that I did last week! lol
One thing I always think about when I think about the past is how different a person I am now from 15 years ago. Not sure if I am a better person, but definitely a different person.

It is weird how things turn out because we spent about four years not even talking- not because of some friendship brawl that derailed our friendship. Just because of life and how it sometimes gets in the way- swelling like a balloon til you cant even see around it to all the things you used to love. I forget that he doesn't already know everything that has happened the last few years. Like it is just a given that he was there for any and all happenings- and vice versa for me as well- like his life was on hold and I cant quite picture it as it is now.

The last time we got together was at my wedding almost 6 years ago. Where has the time gone?
So- lesson for today, don't ever take one moment of friendship for granted. The relationships we have with people throughout our life is what dictates our life.

Love you J!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Oprah sized pressure

Ok, so last week I caught a few minutes of an Oprah show. It was all about moms who agree that momminess is hard, that we don't want to admit how difficult it is, that we put too much on our plate etc. I agreed 150%.
But THEN- the 'experts' were saying how moms need to keep their love life the priority. Great. Just stinking great- like I need one more thing to make a priority! So this got me thinking- it's so totally not even a little bit fair to put that off on the moms- that it is up to us to make sure our marriages don't go down the toilet. Don't we have enough to do? Whether you are a work at home mom, stay at home mom, work from home mom- you work. YOU WORK like a dang slave. Cooking, cleaning, keeping everyone happy, trying to teach your kids how to become wonderful compassionate people, trying to keep your husband's belly and underwear drawer full. Then if you have a 'job' on top of that- which takes another 40 hours out of your week and means you also have to coordinate babysitters, school schedules, carpools, extra curricular activities, and deal with yet another boss.
And now- thanks a lot Oprah- I have to add one more thing to my list of priorities?!?!? I would love to focus all my time and energy on being an 'attentive' wife- but who would be MY wife? Who would clean up after me and make sure my kids were bathed and fed?
My favorite line from the show "Let things slide once in a while! The laundry will still be there after you make love!" Dang right it will be there- be there waiting for ME to wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it away. Waiting for the next load to go in and the stains to be scrubbed out.
Oprah can agree with these experts all her life- she has no children SHE ISN'T EVEN MARRIED!!
Rant over.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Bath time

7:30 pm is one of my favorite times of day. I admit it, call the mommy police again, I am happy when it is time for my boys to go to bed. They will be up bright and early in the morning, showering me with kisses and hugs and begs for pancakes. I will be glad to see them wake- but I am selfishly glad when it is time for them to retire for the evening. 7:30 is bath time. All have been fed, all are clean, the stories are being decided upon, and the nightlight turned on.
I love 7:30 as it heralds in the evening slumber. Ahhhh.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

July 2nd, 2009

I just realized that Thursday was the half way point for the entire year. Wow. Where has the time gone? Better start gearing up for Christmas, because it is just around the corner.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Slap your mama peach cobbler

In honor of the holiday, I thought I would share my favorite Peach cobbler recipe. Every female in the south is born with a peach cobbler recipe embedded in her brain. Here is mine- super simple, super yummy:
2 cups fresh cut peaches- About 5 big peaches (take the skin off about 75% of them) cut into half inch chunks.
1 cup of white sugar
1 cup of bisquick
3/4 cup of milk
1 teaspoon light brown sugar crumbled fine
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients except for brown sugar and let sit while you butter (use butter not grease) a 9 inch cake pan. Sprinkle brown sugar on top. Bake for 40-45 minutes- the top doesn't turn dark brown- more like a golden yumminess. If you like a darker top then turn the heat up to 400 the last 10 minutes but watch it so it doesn't burn. Cooking it on the lower heat keeps it gooey and wonderful!
Serve warm with a dollop of sweetened whip cream. This is soooo yummy- you wont even believe it! If you arent a peach fan (tragic) this also works well with cherries.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Keebler Elves

My husband called today during his lunch break. I didn't answer the phone because I was scrubbing the garden tub in our bathroom. You know- the tub that when you buy the house has so much potential for relaxing baths, the one you picture yourself reclining in, bubbles and candles soothing away the day's stress- when in actuality, Ive never even taken a bath in it and the boys think it is their own personal mini pool. Yes- that tub. I digress, I am scrubbing the tub that I never use that has a ring of scum which did not come from my body and didn't answer the phone. When I call him back, I tell him why I didn't answer before and he says
"Why are you on a cleaning kick?"
"Excuse me?" I ask "What are you talking about?"
"Why are you cleaning the tubs out today?" he explains.
"I do the bleach scrub every couple of weeks! How do you think it gets clean? I clean the sinks every day! How do you think your little facial hairs get from the sink to the trash?" He better be glad that he is safely 30 minutes away at work by this point.
His answer?
"I don't know. I guess I never thought about it."
So, apparently, the Keebler Elves are coming in and cleaning at night whilst he slumbers.
Oh how I wish.

The Little One

My youngest child, my little guy, my lil cutie head. He is the happiest child ever to enter the world. He is almost always smiling and so stinkin' cute that people still stop me on the street to adore him. Complete strangers have asked to take his picture. He just smiles with his little almost dimple and melts hearts left and right. He has big brown eyes like his brother and uses them to get pretty much anything he wants.
He thinks any sweet treat is a 'cookie'. Thankfully, he doesn't know that raisins are good for you and not at all a cookie. I am hoping that TBO doesn't let him in on the truth. He is all about the kisses, hugs, and cuddles- most of the time. The rest of the time, he is all about giving me a heart attack by jumping off the top of the couch, climbing on the counter, trying to run down the stairs, and walking the cat by her tail. He is not quite two years old.
My little cutie head is the baby of the family. Since he is on the smaller side whereas his bother was always on the tall side, I know I baby him too much. I take his side in their arguments 85% of the time. I let him take a bottle at night when he is upset (I know, I know, call the mother police on me right now), I force my husband to check on him 12 times a night.
He is more dependent on me than big brother ever was.
One of the sweetest sounds in the world is to hear him singing to himself with that grin on his face. I love my little guy.

The Big One

My oldest child, my first born, my little thinker, my sweetheart.
I love this kid. He has always been a little 'too old' for his age. He started feeding himself when he was nine months, he was running like a maniac by the time he was one, he spoke in 3 and 4 word sentences at 18 months. He never played with baby toys. He always acted old. He still does that. He uses these big words (correctly, even) and orders his own food at restaurants. He is four.
Every night he tells me he loves me to the moon and back to which I am to reply I love him to the Sun and back and then we are to proceed through the heavens until reaching the 'I love you til forever'. He tells me what to say on a regular basis, and I am his personal soundtrack for all Thomas playtimes. He will be acting out a particular Thoma scene and declare "Sing the docks song mama!" which is my cue to provide the background music to his mind's feature film.
I wonder what he will be when he grows up. He says he is going to be a doctor and Katie, his betrothed, is going to be a princess.
He can be a bit of a booger to his little brother, but most of the time he is The Little One's biggest fan. They are currently running from bedroom to playroom and back again laughing at some insanity.
I love my mini grown up!

Five things I would love to see invented:

1- A vacuum cleaner that would actually get all of the stains and dirt out of my carpet, only weighed three pounds and cost less than $50. And purple would be nice.
2- A sink that converted into a dishwasher, so I could just shut the lid and turn it on. If it then put the dishes away, I would pay double.
3- A bra that would never lose its shape- ever. Like an everlasting gobstopper but, you know, non edible.
4- A third eye. I think it would come in handy. I could leave it in my boys' room or send it with my husband when he does the shopping. Then I could see what he was forgetting and call him before he left without diapers, eggs, whatever.
5- Broccoli that tastes like chocolate. I mean- honestly, they can put a man on the dang moon but cant make veggies in chocolate flavors? I don't believe it for a minute. Some scientist somewhere is holding out on us.